Sensualise

The word *sensualise* comes from the word sensual and it means *to infuse something with sensuality*. 

Putting flowers in your room, starting your day with soothing music, or taking a walk along the beach all can be considered as ways to sensualise your daily life. 

It’s not a new concept. This has been practised in ancient traditions such as Kamasutra and tantra for centuries. Exists is a kamasutra practice that invites people to drop an essential oil on their body and have their lover find where it is located. This is not only intimate but playful as well. 

In the late 1960s, Dr Virginia Johnson and Dr William Masters brought to the world of Western scientific research what Eastern philosophies such as tantra and Kamasutra have been practising for centuries. Together they coined the term *sensate focus* which went on to become a widely known therapeutic modality used all over the world. Sensate focus involves sensual touch rituals designed to decentralise penetration and orgasm, and refocus to exploring with sensation. Since the 60s, research has proven that doing so can reduce pain, body shame and sexual distress whilst supporting desire, arousal and erections. 

In the formal technique one person is designated the toucher* (aka the giver of touch) and the other person the touchee* (the receiver of touch). *If more than two people are involved you can adapt*. The toucher explores the touchee’s body until they decide to switch roles. You are encouraged to get back to basics and relearn how to enjoy simple things like stroking the arm. 

Why do this? Because variety is good. After all, when humans repeat the same thing over and over, they get bored. And you know what happens when you get bored of something? That’s right, you don’t want to do it anymore. And voila! We have *dun dun da daaaa* lack of desire. Many other factors factors in life can of course effect desire as well. 

Sensate focus also involves a technique called self-centredness. I know there are negative connotations associated with self-centredness, but this is different. 

Self-centeredness

Self-centeredness (in this context) means focussing on your own experience of sensation, instead of wondering how the other person is experiencing you. Whether you are giving/receiving or a bit of both, it doesn’t matter. The idea is that focusing on your own pleasure first and foremost has a positive impact on the overall experience (you being the only thing you have full control over). 

To practise self-centeredness you are directed to focus on three types of sensation: texture, temperature and pressure. I.e How does the texture of the skin on the thigh compare to the texture of the vulva? Is the temperature of their armpit hotter than the chest? What if I tried putting a little more pressure on this part of the body, what does that feel like?

Trust that focusing on yourself will have a positive flow-on effect on the overall experience.